So, we were kind of surprised when Tatum revealed to Ellen DeGeneres that his worst fear is porcelain dolls. Dolls? Really, dude? Until, of course, Ellen whipped a few of them out to taunt him:
We have to admit: those things are pretty creepy.
I'm okay everybody. Unfortuantlely my question hurt Mike Tyson's feelings. That was not my intentions. My apolgies for the language
— nathan downer (@nathandowner1) September 10, 2014
No ill will toward Mike Tyson. He lashed out at me and that's okay. Not taking it personally pic.twitter.com/e27mfrOagJ
— nathan downer (@nathandowner1) September 10, 2014
I love my gay fans
— Nick Jonas (@nickjonas) September 8, 2014
dear Tommy Up
at PYT in Philly.
Please tell Rob K
I'm pledging
1000 dollars
to him for the
tip debacle
just wanna help.
c
#NoJudgement
— Charlie Sheen (@charliesheen) September 10, 2014
Lindsey and I had a taste of the big time, we recorded in a big studio, we met famous people, we made what we consider to be a brilliant record and nobody liked it. But I had gotten to a point where it was like, 'I'm not happy. I am tired. But I don't know if we can do any better than this. If nobody likes this, then what are we going to do?' I made a decision to continue. "Landslide" was the decision.
[There were] Brightly lit hotel ballrooms with broken microphones. College shows where the kids were all drunk. Charity buyouts where the audience was very, very sober. Corporate gigs at 8 a.m. for employees who were there to be told about reductions in their health care benefits.
There were no mail boys at Newsweek, only mail girls. If you were a college graduate (like me) who had worked on your college newspaper (like me) and you were a girl (like me), they hired you as a mail girl. If you were a boy (unlike me) with exactly the same qualifications, they hired you as a reporter and sent you to a bureau somewhere in America. My job couldn't have been more prosaic: Mail girls delivered the mail. This was a long time ago, when there was a huge amount of mail, and it arrived in large sacks all day long.
I think the most uttered phrase in parking garages is, "F-ing Mini."
— Wendi Aarons (@WendiAarons) September 6, 2014
How's Kate Middleton gonna get thru the next 9 months without her mid-afternoon glass of white wine and late afternoon glass of white wine??
— Caity Weaver (@caityweaver) September 8, 2014
She is best known for her signature dance, the Spilled Coffee On A Freshly Dry-Cleaned Top Tango.
— kase!! (@worstkase) September 8, 2014
What does it say about me that more than one person texted me this morning to tell me that Kate Middleton is pregnant?
— Sandra Di (@Sandra_Di_) September 8, 2014
I was worried I was bothering my roommate by playing Belle and Sebastian too loudly but then I remembered she went to a liberal arts college
— Mara Wilson (@MaraWritesStuff) September 9, 2014
The main difference between the iPhone 6 and the 6 plus is that the 6 plus makes it possible for you to go pee without getting up
— Veronica de Souza (@HeyVeronica) September 12, 2014
*beer bongs coffee*
— Monica Ann (@Monicann86) September 9, 2014
The time of year when my legs get sentimental. "We're really gonna miss you, outside. You're so much cooler than our other friend, tights."
— Maris Kreizman (@mariskreizman) September 9, 2014
That's why her hair is so big, it's full of subtweets.
— Rachel Feltman (@RachelFeltman) September 9, 2014
The new I-Phone can tell you whether or not your parents really wanted you
— Barbara Holm (@barbara_holm) September 9, 2014
I don't care what the new Apple products are as long as they still make me feel more important than others.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) September 9, 2014
When I say I'm bad at taking compliments it means I want you to keep complimenting me so I can practice and get good at it.
— Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie) September 9, 2014
A five second rule for when I wave you into my lane.
— Twitnter is Coming (@OhNoSheTwitnt) September 10, 2014
Today is our office team-building picnic w/ tug-of-war & dodgeball. So if ya need me I'll be on the bathroom floor having middle school PTSD
— Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) September 10, 2014
My coffee intake cannot comprehend what you are saying.
— KMD (@KMDrunner) September 10, 2014
CONFESSION: Sometimes I'll casually leave a Tampax Ultra wrapper lying out so people will know how big I am. ;)
— Diablo Cody (@diablocody) September 10, 2014
The way I see it, oral surgeons are just regular people who are licensed to stab you in the mouth with no legal repercussions
— Carly Ledbetter (@ledbettercarly) September 12, 2014
If a patriarchy runs the world, I don’t see why you guys still have to wear ties.
— Elise Foley (@elisefoley) September 12, 2014